


We Don't Have To Think It Through

by justyrae



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-30 13:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17829569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justyrae/pseuds/justyrae
Summary: It's been a month now since Niall started crashing on Louis' couch and everything is mostly the same. Except for the last two weeks they've been casually trading blowjobs whenever they feel like it.





	We Don't Have To Think It Through

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my dear friend Jay who plotted this out with me in 2017, though we've sadly lost touch since then. if you see this, i sincerely hope you enjoy it <3
> 
> also thank you to my beta A for all the love and support you showered me with while i was writing this. you're the best.

_**max said he's done with me** _

Niall debates adding "haha" to the end of his text, if only because he feels like his life is one big joke at the moment. He doesn't, he presses send and sits on the front steps of his - or, really, Max's - flat as he waits for Louis to answer.

He doesn't know why Louis is the first person he thought to text about this. It's probably because he was the last person Niall saw before he came home to Max earlier in the evening. Before everything he thought he had slipped through his fingers without even giving him a chance to hold on.

Niall starts a new text, addressing it to Liam, planning on asking him if he can crash on his couch for a day or two. He's barely halfway through the question before Louis texts back a long string of question marks, a second text with actual words following in quick succession.

_**WHAT THE FUCK WHY** _

Niall laughs in spite of himself. He starts typing a response but soon finds that there are just too many things to say for him to write it all out in a text. He takes a chance and calls Louis, holding his breath as he hopes that his voice will be stronger than his fingers.

"Niall? You okay? Do you need to me to punch anyone?"

"Jesus, Lou," Niall huffs out a laugh, "no. You don't have to punch anyone."

"What happened?" Louis barrels on. "He can't just be done with you, there's got to be an explanation!"

"There was," Niall says. His voice is shaky already and now he's wishing he'd stuck to just texting. This was a terrible idea. "He said… he said a lot of things. Said he felt unappreciated or unloved, or something like that. Said he didn't want to be second place anymore."

"What the fuck does that even mean?"

"Wish I knew," Niall replies sadly, after a slight pause. "I thought he was happy, Lou, I thought we were happy."

"Of course you did," Louis' voice softens. "It's not your fault, Niall. You did everything you could to make him happy, it's not your fault that it wasn't enough for him."

"Yeah, but did I? Some of the things he said, Lou, I just…"

"Hey, stop that." Louis' voice rises, as though he's trying to reach through the phone and shake Niall to make sure he's listening. "Anything he said, he probably said it just to hurt you. To make you feel like shit when he's the one who should be feeling like shit. Literally anyone who knows you knows that you go above and beyond for everyone you love and if Max couldn't see that then that's his fucking problem, not yours. You hear me?"

"Yeah," Niall chokes out. His throat feels tight as he blinks away tears. He hadn't cried when Max said it was over, he was too stunned by the news. Now that it's sunk in Niall feels devastated in a way he hadn't thought possible.

"Come to mine, alright? You can crash here for a while, til you get back on your feet. It's gonna be okay, Niall."

"Yeah," Niall says as he lets out a long breath. As comforting as he knows Louis' words should be, he can't help but wonder how long it'll take before they come true.

Louis is already standing in his doorway with a beer in his hand by the time Niall hoofs it up the stairs. He passes it to Niall before they even say a word to each other, pulling him in for a hug while Niall tries not to get caught up on the sad look on Louis' face.

"Drink up, lad." Louis pats the side of Niall's face as he pushes his door open. "Plenty more where that came from."

"Cheers," Niall murmurs, taking a long draft as he steps over the threshold into Louis' flat. It looks exactly the same as it did when Niall was over not two days ago but the fact that now it's his home too, for all intents and purposes, makes Niall want to start crying all over again. He drowns that thought with more beer, sucking every last drop out of the bottle before he heads into the kitchen for another.

"Leave at least one for me," Louis jokes as he follows Niall, hesitating in the doorway. Niall doesn't look at him as he opens a fresh bottle. He already hates the tone of Louis' voice, the way he's walking on eggshells around him instead of just treating him like he always does. If there's one person that Niall figured he could count on to always give him shit, it's Louis.

"I'd tell you to get your own, but…" Niall shrugs before he brings the new bottle up to his lips and Louis laughs like he wasn't expecting Niall to start cracking jokes.

"Gonna drink me out of house and home, aren't you?"

"Be disrespecting my countrymen if I didn't."

"S'pose I ought to buy some more then, hmm?" Louis takes a step backwards, still too hesitant for Niall's liking. "D'you wanna come, or…"

"You can leave me alone," Niall replies flatly. "'m heartbroken, not suicidal."

"I didn't--" Louis takes a breath and shakes his head, apparently deciding whatever he was going to say wasn't worth it. "Tesco's just around the corner, won't be more than ten minutes."

Niall waves him off, concentrating more on drinking than watching him go. The sound of the front door closing echoes a little throughout the flat but soon there's nothing at all to break the silence. Niall taps his fingers against the countertop and then the half-drunk bottle in his hand, deciding against grabbing another before he goes to the living room.

His second beer is empty soon after he sits down on the couch but he doesn't make any effort to go back to get another. As tempting as the idea of getting shitfaced sounded when he arrived ten minutes ago, now it just feels like a stupid thing to do.

Niall toes off his shoes and curls up on the couch, making himself as small as possible after he pulls his phone from his pocket. He scrolls through his texts with Max, searching for any shred of evidence that could've tipped him off that this was coming. There's nothing there, Max wasn't a good texter to begin with so half the time Niall couldn't be sure if he was pissed off or not.

He successfully resists the urge to text or call him, too afraid that he'd end up doing something stupid like begging Max to take him back. He shoves his phone between the couch cushions and shuts his eyes so he won't start to cry.

Niall ends up falling asleep before Louis gets back, even though it's hardly past seven o'clock.

*

The next week passes with Louis trying and mostly failing to treat Niall the same as he did before he got dumped. Apart from a few other people close to him, Niall doesn't tell anyone about Max. His colleagues at work didn't even know he had a boyfriend in the first place so it's easy to pretend like nothing's wrong there. It's almost a relief for Niall to go to work every morning knowing he won't be treated any differently than he normally is.

Niall ends up not telling Louis when he goes back to Max's place towards the end of the week. The night Max broke it off Niall barely held it together long enough to shove a week's worth of clothes into a bag before he left the flat, it was only a matter of time before he had to go back. He thinks long and hard over whether to tell Max at all; he's still got his key so technically he could just go when he knows Max will be out, grab his things, and leave without making anything worse.

Somehow the fear of Max finding out he was there without telling him outweighs the fear of seeing him again, though Niall's not quite sure how that's even possible. Regardless, he ends up texting Max just to save himself further torment.

_**is saturday ok for me to come pick up the rest of my stuff?** _

It takes Max a few hours to reply, long enough that Niall's starting to think that he wouldn't answer at all.

_**yeah. i'll be gone all afternoon.** _

Niall exhales, catching himself before he starts to ask where Max will be. It's none of his business anymore and it doesn't matter. Besides, it's not like Max has asked where Niall's staying. As far as Niall's concerned, Max doesn't care about him anymore so it's only fair that Niall shouldn't care about him either.

"Yeah," Niall mutters under his breath, "keep telling yourself that."

_**ok. i'll leave the key under the mat.** _

Saturday morning Niall leaves Louis' flat while Louis is still asleep, knowing he won't be waking up until around eleven at least. He takes himself out to a late breakfast and wanders around the shops in Louis' neighborhood, trying to kill time until the mid-afternoon. He wants to ensure that there's absolutely no possibility of running into Max, if only because he's still not sure whether or not he'd be able to stop himself from begging Max to take him back.

It's a stupid idea and he knows it, but he simply can't stop wondering if there was something he could've done to prevent Max from breaking up with him in the first place. He supposes not knowing what he did makes it that much worse, because it means he got complacent with the relationship without even realizing it. Niall thought he was better than that, he really did.

He doesn't realize he's been standing stock-still in the middle of a shop until one of the sales associates places a gentle hand on his arm, nearly scaring the both of them out of their wits when Niall jerks back into reality.

"Sorry," he answers breathlessly as he clutches his chest, "shit, sorry. Lost meself for a minute there."

"Are you alright?" she asks as she eyes Niall warily. He can't blame her for that.

"'m fine," he assures her. "Sorry," he repeats before he makes a quick exit out of the shop. He ducks around the corner and leans against a wall, taking one deep breath after another to try and calm himself down.

His heart's racing like he's just had a panic attack and it worries him a bit, thinking he might set off a proper one if he can't get himself under control. He closes his eyes and sinks down close to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs as he presses his forehead against his knees.

 _It's alright, you're alright_ , he thinks. _Everything's going to be alright_.

Niall ends up finding the nearest Pret A Manger and getting a cup of tea before he takes up residence in a seat in the corner, watching the steam rise from his cup instead of watching the time tick by at a snail's pace. He's been sitting for maybe half an hour when his phone buzzes in his pocket and he takes it out to see that Louis' texted him, something he probably should've expected.

_**where the fuck are you??** _

Niall grumbles a little under his breath as he taps out a reply just vague enough that he's not really lying but definitely not telling Louis what he's doing. The last thing he needs is Louis showing up at Max's flat and offering to wreck the place.

_**out runnin some errands. back in a bit!** _

Louis doesn't answer and Niall lets out a breath of relief, grateful that for once in his life Louis isn't pushing the matter. He checks the time and makes an anxious noise when he sees it's just barely past noon. His tea has long lost its warmth, no longer serving as a decent distraction, and he puts his head down on the table next to it and closes his eyes.

It's going to be a long day.

He doesn't last much longer in Pret, especially not when an employee comes up to ask him if he's alright. He dodges the question as best he can, deciding to leave instead of continuing to take up space in the cafe. He considers texting Liam but then he remembers that he never got around to texting him the night Max asked him to leave, and hasn't since.

Somehow he doubts having to re-hash that night will make this waiting game any easier.

Niall gives up on waiting any longer to make his way to Max's, hoping against hope that he won't be there. He doesn't run into Max anywhere along the way which he takes as a good omen as well as a relief, considering he hadn't even imagined that as a possibility beforehand. He pulls his keys out of his pocket as he climbs the steps to the front door by pure muscle memory, only realizing how easy it was when he gets to the door to Max's flat.

He hesitates before sliding the key into the lock as the thought occurs to him that this is probably the last time he'll ever set foot in this flat again. It should hit him harder than it does, he thinks, especially given the way he's been panicking all through the morning. After he takes a deep breath Niall turns the key in the lock and opens the door, stepping across the threshold without letting it bang against the wall.

As far as he can tell the flat is silent so he doesn't bother calling out Max's name. Niall shuts the door behind him and starts twisting the keys off the little metal ring on his keychain, staring down at them as he heads for the bedroom. Just as he manages to get the keys loose, he looks up to see Max.

"You're early," Max says, looking about as uncomfortable as Niall feels.

"Sorry," Niall says automatically as his eyes drop to the floor.

"It's fine, I just…" Max sighs softly. "I was just leaving, anyway."

He brushes past Niall, careful not to bump into him but Niall flinches just the same.

"Max," he starts, spinning around to see him hesitate by the front door. He doesn't turn around, he doesn't even turn his head to look at him, but Niall loses his words anyway.

"Lock the door when you're done, yeah?" Max asks quietly.

"Yeah," Niall mutters, defeated. His eyes drop to the floor as Max leaves and he waits until the door shuts before he moves again.

He doesn't know what he expected, really. It's not like he planned on seeing Max so he hadn't thought of what he could say if the occasion arose. Niall supposes it's a good thing that he didn't just beg for Max to take him back and make a complete fool out of himself.

But the more he thinks about it as he packs up his belongings the more he realizes that he didn't even have the urge to ask Max to reconsider. As he looks around the flat, he hardly sees any trace of himself around. It hadn't occurred to him while he was living there but now as he's packing up his life in a couple of bags it becomes clear that this wasn't what he thought it was.

As Niall leaves the flat, slipping the key under the doormat after locking the door, he thinks maybe Max did him a favor.

*

"Nialler!" Louis shouts not two seconds after Niall's opened the door. "Was starting to worry!"

"No need to worry, 'm here." Niall chuckles softly as he drops his bags on the ground. He catches a worried look on Louis' face for a moment, but he's quick to explain. "I went by Max's to get the rest of my stuff."

"You okay?" Louis asks, his voice hesitant and unsure.

"Strangely, yeah." Niall laughs. "I was dreading going and running into him, but…"

"But?"

"Then I did." Niall shakes his head, somehow still laughing. "And it was fine."

Louis gives him a strange look. "You're acting weird. You sure you're alright?"

"Shut up, 'm fine." Niall rolls his eyes. "You're the one who's been acting weird all week."

"I have not--"

"You have too," Niall cuts him off. "You've been treating me like I'm made of fucking glass or something."

"I didn't want to say anything stupid!"

"You say stupid shit all the time, Tommo."

Louis considers it and hums in response. "Case in point, yeah?"

Niall shakes his head again. "I'm really fine, I promise."

Louis twists his mouth in a way that Niall _knows_ means Louis doesn't believe what he's trying to tell him. Even with the little outburst Niall just had, Louis is _still_ walking on eggshells around him and it has to stop.

"What?" Niall asks flatly.

"Nothing!" Louis says, but after a few seconds of intense staring from Niall, he speaks again. "I talked to Liam today."

Niall pauses. "And?"

"He didn't know about you and Max." Louis pauses for a moment. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"I was gonna," Niall says as he looks down and scuffs his feet along the floor. "I almost did the night Max kicked me out but then I was texting you and I just… forgot."

"You forgot?"

"Yeah, I forgot, look--" Niall huffs, "--why does it even matter? Why were you talking to Liam about me?"

"He texted about lads' night! He mentioned Max which I thought was weird, so I--"

"Jesus, Lou."

" _What_?" Louis says, his voice raising slightly.

"You can't just--" Niall groans angrily but can't articulate his thoughts into words.

"Can't just what?"

"This wasn't yours to tell!"

"Why are you shouting at me?! I'm just trying to help!"

"I don't know!" Niall yells. They're both silent for a few seconds, and then Louis starts to laugh. Niall tries to hold out for as long as he can, but Louis' laughter is infectious.

"Face it, mate," Louis says when his laughter subsides. "I did you a favor."

"Yeah, alright," Niall says as he shakes his head. "At least now I don't have to rehash it with Liam."

"Exactly." Louis grins proudly. "Now we can just go to the pub and get drunk."

"What, now?"

"Yeah," Louis says as he gets up and starts looking around for his jacket. "Why not?"

"It's barely after twelve."

"So? It's Saturday."

Niall shrugs. "Yeah, alright."

*

As it turns out, Liam thought that lads' night was actually going to take place at _night_ , and therefore he doesn't show up to the pub when Niall and Louis do. He shows up several hours later, like any normal person would for a lads' night, and discovers that they've been drinking steadily since arriving at the pub around one in the afternoon.

"Wait, you've been here for _how_ long?" Liam asks as he shrugs off his jacket and quickly takes the pitcher out of Louis' hands to avoid getting a lapful of beer.

Niall tries counting on his fingers for about three seconds and then hiccups. "Depends," he slurs a little, "what time is it?"

"Time for you both to have some water," Liam decides unilaterally. He tries to flag down one of the waitresses through the barrel of strong objections from the other two (though to be fair, it's mostly Louis).

"There's water in beer, isn't there?" Louis asks loudly of the poor waitress who's been serving them for the last three hours.

"Three _large_ glasses of water," Liam says, smiling apologetically at her in the hopes that she won't kick them all out. "And a food menu."

Louis scoffs in disgust as she walks away, trying in vain to reach across the table for the pitcher that Liam is still holding hostage. "We don't need food! We have beer!"

"I could go for some chips," Niall pipes up. "Or a burger. Or--"

"Okay," Louis amends, "maybe we could go for some food."

"You'd better," Liam says as he quickly sets the half-full pitcher down on the table behind theirs. Louis doesn't even notice, he's too busy coming up with ridiculous requests that the pub's little kitchen couldn't ever possibly fulfill.

It doesn't really matter; in the end he's cordial to the waitress and orders something entirely normal. Niall does the same, though he ends up sort of tipped to one side because suddenly Louis' shoulder has become the most comfortable place in the world.

"Has he had more than you?" Liam asks Louis once the waitress has disappeared again.

"I dunno, I wasn't counting." Louis turns his head and jostles Niall off of his shoulder. "Hey, you're letting your countrymen down, y'know."

"I am not," Niall replies, settling his head back on Louis' shoulder. "I could take you both down if I wanted."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Liam replies. He's got a sad sort of look on his face and even through his drunken haze, Niall knows it's definitely directed at or because of him.

But then he closes his eyes and he doesn't have to see it anymore, and it's better.

Niall gets jostled again when the food arrives, and the second the smell of his burger and chips wafts over him, he's suddenly ravenous. Louis cheers when another pitcher of beer is brought to the table, and even Liam agrees to a glass. (He makes sure that both Louis and Niall drink half of their water at the very least before pouring a new glass of beer.)

"He takes care of us, doesn't he, Niall?" Louis says in an admiring sort of tone, gesturing to Liam with a chip.

"Indeed," Niall agrees, mostly without thinking about what Louis was actually saying.

"He should've been here all along," Louis goes on."

"Yep."

"Why weren't you here?" Louis asks, switching from admiration to suspicion in nothing flat. "Where were you?"

"Yeah, Liam," Niall agrees mindlessly through a mouthful of burger.

"I was at home," Liam replies. His words come out a bit hesitantly, which piques Niall's interest and only increases Louis' suspicions.

"At home?" Louis repeats. "Doing what?"

Niall keeps his eyes on Liam as he continues to eat, noticing that Liam is trying very hard not to make eye contact with either of them.

"Just… house stuff. Y'know. Chores. Errands."

"Chores?" Louis cackles. "Errands?"

"Yes, Lou," Liam says in a stressed yet patient voice. "I had things to do."

"Things," Louis repeats. "Sure. Things. I've got things too, y'know."

"Louis…" Liam warns.

"Niall's got things. Y'know what he did this morning?"

"Hey," Niall says, suddenly confused as to why he's been dragged into the conversation. He really should've been paying more attention.

"It's why we've been at the pub all day, Liam." Louis gestures between himself and Niall. "Solidarity. Y'know? Lads' solidarity."

"Louis, I think you'd better stop before you say something stupid," Liam says.

"Think he might be onto something, Lou." Niall shakes his head.

"I'm just saying!" Louis protests. "I wanna know what Liam was doing that was so important that he couldn't be here for you!" He shakes Niall's shoulder a little and Niall huffs.

"I don't care, Lou," he says as he reaches for his pint glass, "he's here now, isn't that what counts?"

"Thank you, Niall," Liam says, raising his own glass in a toast to him.

"Fine," Louis says, taking his glass in hand as well. "I'll drop it."

"Thank you," Liam repeats, tapping his glass against Louis'.

"As long as you buy the next round."

Liam looks to Niall, who shrugs. "Seems fair, mate."

"Fine," Liam says as he rolls his eyes. "Next round's on me."

*

Despite numerous protests, Liam's the first to suggest it's time to leave the pub. Last call is still a few hours away but he insists that both Louis and Niall have been there long enough. He also might say something about alcohol poisoning, but by then Niall's more or less stopped listening.

Truth be told, he's not entirely against leaving the pub. On the one hand, he knows there are beers in Louis' fridge at home, and on the other, Louis' couch is definitely more comfortable than the booth they've been sitting in for hours.

He relays this information to Louis in what he truly believes to be a whisper, though judging from the look on Liam's face when he's finished, maybe it wasn't.

"Yeah," Louis says loudly. "Home is good, too."

Liam rolls his eyes. "You're both idiots."

They manage to make it back to Louis' flat with Liam's help, though he only goes so far as the outside door. He refuses to come inside, which is probably for the best because he probably knows as well as they do that if he comes inside, he probably won't be allowed to leave.

Niall and Louis lean heavily on each other as they make their way up the stairs to Louis' flat, and it's a bit of a miracle that neither of them fall through the door once Louis gets it open. Niall immediately heads straight for the couch while Louis takes a detour into the kitchen to grab more beers.

They're both silent for a while after opening their beers, each one lounging on the couch in a way that probably shouldn't be comfortable but surprisingly is. Niall hasn't even taken one sip from his beer yet when Louis speaks, snapping Niall out of his own haze of thoughts.

"What?" Niall asks, only having caught the tail end of whatever Louis said.

"You're okay, right?" Louis repeats, tilting his head back so he can look at Niall properly. He'd ended up on the other side of the couch from Niall but instead of sitting like a normal person, Louis swung his legs over the arm and laid his head down on the center cushion.

"Bit drunk, the room sort of has a blur to it," Niall says thoughtfully. "But I'm not going to vom on you, or anything."

"No, that's--" Louis laughs and swats at Niall's thigh. "That's not what I meant."

"I know what you m--"

"I _meant_ ," Louis says as he tries to sit up while maintaining eye contact with Niall, "are you _okay_?"

"Louis--"

"Because even if you're not now, you will be!" Louis barrels on. "Max wasn't the be all, end all for you, Niall."

"I know that," Niall says with a slightly awkward laugh. "I never said he was!"

"You'll find someone new," Louis says adamantly. "Maybe you just need to get Max out of your system, y'know?"

"Louis, I--"

"I'll take you out! I'll be your wingman."

"And I'm sure," Niall says as he pats Louis' shoulder, "that you'd be an excellent wingman, but you don't have to--"

"I could do it! I've pulled lads before, y'know."

Niall snorts. "What? No, you haven't."

"I have too!"

"Yeah, right." Niall laughs again, but Louis' expression doesn't change. "Wait, when?"

Louis shrugs a little as he settles on the middle cushion, his legs tucked under himself. "Last time was last year, I think? I dunno for sure."

"Right."

"Okay, so I don't do it _often_ , but I have done it!"

"I believe you," Niall says as he nods, hiding his smirk behind his beer as he finally takes a sip.

"Now you're taking the piss," Louis says with an annoyed huff."

"I'm sorry!" Niall laughs more. "You never said!"

"I'm sorry, should I have been telling you about every dick I've sucked?" Louis cackles.

"Jesus," Niall mutters. He can feel his face getting hot, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol.

"D'you want me to prove it to you?"

"What? No!" Niall laughs nervously this time; he feels a little weird about the challenging edge to Louis' voice. "What are you even saying? That you'll suck my dick to prove a point?"

"I wasn't saying _that_ ," Louis replies with a considering hum, "but now that you mention it…"

"Jesus christ, Louis, I wasn't serious!"

"Why not?"

"What do you mean 'why not'?!"

"It's just a blowie between mates," Louis says, as though this is an entirely normal conversation to have. Niall can't believe they're having this conversation, but even he has to admit that he can't really come up with a valid argument against it.

If either of them remember this in the morning, they'll surely blame it on the alcohol.

"Alright," Niall says finally. "Go on, then."

"Yeah?" Louis wiggles his eyebrows in a lewd manner and sets his beer down on the table next to the sofa. "You're in for it, now."

"I'll believe that when I-- Jesus!" Niall shouts when Louis just goes for it, grabbing his dick through his jeans. "Warn a guy first!"

"You told me to," Louis says as he keeps one hand on Niall's dick, rubbing it as he uses his other to start undoing Niall's jeans.

"Yeah, but--" Niall gasps as Louis' hand finds its way into his pants, touching his bare dick that's already half hard after just a few seconds of groping. "Fuck."

"See?" Louis says smugly. "Just you wait."

Niall doesn't even have a chance to ask what he's waiting for before Louis ducks his head down and puts his mouth on him. Niall moans at the feeling of Louis' mouth around him, his tongue already doing things that make Niall shake all over.

Louis shifts off of the couch and onto his knees on the floor, manhandling Niall into the position he wants him in. He pulls Niall's hips to the edge of the couch cushion, sinking further down onto Niall's dick as he grips Niall's denim-clad thighs with his hands.

Niall's a mess already; he's gripping the bottle of beer so tightly that he's slightly worried he might crush it in his hand. His chest is heaving with every breath and he can't help it when his hips start jerking upwards, pushing his dick further into Louis' mouth.

But Louis doesn't tell him to stop. He keeps bobbing his head, taking Niall deeper with no apparent trouble. Niall doesn't have the wherewithal to ask how the hell Louis is doing this; he's too busy trying not to come his brains out in less than three minutes.

He manages to last for what he hopes is a respectable amount of time, but as soon as he comes he's entirely useless. His heart is still racing and every part of his body simultaneously tingles and feels like jelly. He just barely has the ability to lift his head off of the back of the couch to look down at Louis and see his smug face.

"Well?" he asks, panting a little. He's still crouching between Niall's legs with his hands on Niall's thighs, and even though there's no possible way Niall could even _think_ about getting hard again right now, he sort of wishes he could.

"Fucking hell, Lou." Niall laughs breathlessly and groans softly as he tries to move to put his dick back in his pants.

"Told you," Louis replies smugly as he gets up off the floor, only to sit right back down on the couch next to Niall. He grabs his beer off of the table and takes a long drink from it, while Niall's eyes drop down to the bulge in Louis' jeans.

Louis notices Niall watching, and he palms his dick as he tries to adjust his jeans.

"No judgment, yeah?" Louis teases.

"No judgement," Niall repeats. He nods at Louis' hand and takes a swig of his own beer. "C'mon, mate."

"C'mon what?"

"You've seen mine," Niall replies, grinning. "It's only fair."

"What, you gonna watch me jerk off or something?"

Niall shrugs. "I'd give you a hand, but I reckon I'm still a bit useless."

"Nice," Louis chuckles as he starts unzipping his jeans. "Stroke my ego while I stroke my dick, yeah?"

"You're so eloquent, Lou." Niall laughs, but he doesn't tear his eyes away. He bites his lip absentmindedly when Louis pulls his dick out, groaning softly when he gets his hand around it.

Louis closes his eyes and tips his head back as he touches himself, giving Niall the opportunity to watch without Louis looking at him. He feels a tingle between his legs as Louis jerks off, but it won't be enough to get him hard again any time soon.

"C'mon, Lou," he quietly urges after Louis starts moving his hips to meet the speed of his hand. Louis groans in response, stroking himself faster as though he's right on the edge already.

He doesn't last much longer than Niall did, and he moans loudly as he comes into his own hand. There's a fleeting thought in Niall's mind about how Louis swallowed for him, and what Louis might taste like, but it's gone in a flash when Louis opens his eyes and chuckles.

"Mates?" He says, one hand lifting his bottle towards Niall while the other's still holding his dick.

Niall snorts, but returns the gesture and clinks his bottle against Louis'.

"Mates."

*

The following morning, Niall wakes up with a sort of fuzzy recollection of the previous night. Well, at least as far as their marathon day at the pub. He remembers everything that happened when he and Louis got back to the flat, which means he's sort of dreading the moment when Louis comes out of his bedroom.

Will they both pretend like it didn't even happen? Niall certainly can't decide if that's what he wants, but he's also unsure whether or not he really wants to discuss it right away. His head has a slight throb to it and he'd much rather get a nice greasy breakfast before deciding on anything else.

Niall jumps a little when Louis' bedroom door opens and Louis shuffles out into the living room with his phone in one hand and the other trying to pat down the hair on top of his head. He looks up at Niall, who's staring back at him with wide eyes as though he's been caught doing something naughty.

(He hasn't, of course. He's still under the blanket on the couch, just like he has been every morning since the first night he crashed at Louis'. There's absolutely nothing weird about this situation apart from Niall being the one making it weird inside his own head.)

"Sleep well?" Louis asks through a yawn.

"Yeah," Niall replies as Louis comes over to the couch and sits down next to him.

"Was thinking we could order in breakfast," Louis says as he lazily scrolls through his phone. "Don't really fancy going all the way to McDonald's right now."

Niall snorts, in spite of himself. "It's a ten minute walk from here."

"Yeah, but first we'd have to get dressed. And then we'd have to walk there, and then--"

"Alright, alright," Niall says, holding his hands up in defeat as he laughs. "You win, let's order in."

"I knew you'd see it my way," Louis says proudly as he hands over his phone, already having pulled up the menu and picked out what he wants.

Niall rolls his eyes but dutifully taps in his own order before passing Louis' phone back to him. A few taps later, Louis looks at Niall and smiles triumphantly.

"Should be here in about twenty." He lets out a long breath and settles down with his head leaning back against the couch. "What'll we do til then?"

Niall doesn't mean to, but he can't help it. His eyes immediately go below Louis' waist and in an instant he knows he's been caught staring because Louis chuckles under his breath. Niall quickly darts his eyes back up to Louis' face, feeling his cheeks go pink when he sees the knowing smile there.

"Reckon you could return the favor for last night," Louis says, his voice completely calm and casual.

"Yeah?" Niall says, surprised by how cool and collected his own voice sounds when it comes out of his mouth. It doesn't have to be weird, why is he making it weird?

Louis shrugs. "If you want."

"We've got time to kill," Niall replies as he pushes the blanket off of his legs and slides off of the couch. There's a slight look of surprise in Louis' eyes, like maybe he hadn't really expected Niall to go along with it, but it disappears almost as soon as Niall sees it.

Louis isn't nearly as useless after he comes as Niall was the night before, meaning he had no trouble at all in pulling Niall back up onto the couch to reciprocate. Niall comes just before the door buzzer goes off, which means Louis has to be the one to answer the door to collect their breakfast.

He tosses Niall's sandwich onto his belly when he returns to the couch, grinning widely when Niall objects with a grumble. Louis settles in next to him, happily biting into his own sandwich while Niall's still recovering.

It takes another few seconds for Niall to orient himself so he's upright on the couch with his pants back up around his waist. Louis is already halfway done with his sandwich by the time Niall unwraps his own, and neither have said a word to each other since before Niall dropped to his knees.

Niall looks down at his sandwich, but he can't just start eating the same way Louis did. There's something nagging at the back of his mind, but he also can't just come right out and say what he's thinking. So instead, he turns it around with a bit of humor.

"Does this mean I owe you another one, now?" he asks dryly, grinning when Louis chokes on his sandwich.

Niall waits for Louis to compose himself, feeling slightly better about things now that Louis is somewhat thrown off his guard. The thing is, Niall wouldn't mind doing it again. He's always objectively found Louis attractive, so why couldn't this work out?

"I mean," Louis says, clearing his throat, "if you wanted."

"I wouldn't say no," Niall replies.

"Well, alright then." Louis gives Niall an exaggerated wink and they both laugh.

A few seconds go by, and there's just one more thing Niall has to say before he can move on.

"Mates?" he asks. Louis chuckles softly and holds out his fist to Niall.

"Mates," he repeats. Niall smiles in return as he knocks his knuckles against Louis'. They're both on the same page, that much is clear. What could possibly go wrong?

*

Everything is totally normal. Which, if Niall stopped to think about it, should be weird. It's been a month now since Niall started crashing on Louis' couch and everything is mostly the same. Except for the last two weeks they've been casually trading blowjobs whenever they feel like it, which usually ends up being every other day or so.

But for some reason, Niall's no longer overthinking it. It's just something they do now, even though Niall's never done this with any of his other friends. But with Louis, somehow, it just works.

Until, of course, it stops working.

It had been a long day for Niall but he agreed to go out with Louis, Liam, and a few other people anyway. Partially because if he hadn't, he would've had to endure Louis texting him all night with pleas to come out anyway and Niall wouldn't have been able to get any peace and quiet.

So, instead of being on Louis' couch watching some dumb TV show, he's at a club where the music is so loud it actually sort of hurts his ears and he's drinking some watered down drink that Louis bought for him as a thank you for coming out with them.

It's not all bad, Niall's just being a bit of a spoilsport. He's standing near the bar with Liam at his side, Louis having disappeared into the crowd after trying and failing to get them both to come dance with him. Liam looks about as happy as Niall does to be in the club right now, though Niall doesn't understand why. He thinks about asking, but he'd probably have to shout at Liam in order to be heard, and that doesn't sound like an all-around great idea to Niall.

Liam, on the other hand, apparently decides the opposite because between one minute and the next he's standing right beside Niall and speaking directly into his ear.

"Are you having any fun?"

Niall laughs loudly. "Not really, no. You?"

"Not really," Liam replies, laughing along with him. He waits a moment and then asks, "how's living with Louis?"

"Good," Niall says immediately. He's not about to tell Liam that he's been hooking up with Louis. He doesn't know how Liam would react to that information, and he's not really looking to get a lecture about the dangers of hooking up with your best friends.

"Are you going to keep living with him?" Liam asks, and it throws Niall for a loop.

"What d'you mean?"

"Well, you're on the couch, right?" Niall nods and Liam shrugs a little, his mouth twisting in an oddly sad way. "Might be nice to have a bed again, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Niall answers absently. "D'you think I should move out?"

"That's not what I'm saying, I just think…" Liam glances out at the throng of people dancing in front of them, and Niall feels a sudden weirdness come over him. He can't explain it and he certainly doesn't like it, so he downs the rest of his drink in the hopes it'll make it go away.

"What, Liam?"

"Nevermind," Liam says as he pats Niall on the shoulder. The sad look from before has been replaced with a smile, though Niall can't exactly tell if it's genuine or not. "Want another drink?"

"Yeah," Niall says, "why not?"

An hour passes without a sign of Louis, and after another two drinks, Niall's ready to go home. He and Liam have been making small talk off and on for the last hour and enough is enough. Niall just wants to go to bed.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asks Liam, trying not to shout _too_ loudly in his ear.

"Yeah," Liam replies, nodding enthusiastically. "Absolutely."

"Alright," Niall says, finishing off the last bit of his drink, "I'll find Louis, and--" The expression on Liam's face changes, making Niall pause. "What?"

"I think…" Liam leans in close to Niall's ear and points across the room, "he's otherwise occupied at the moment."

Niall gives Liam a weird look but then follows his hand and sees what Liam's talking about. Towards the other end of the bar he sees Louis with someone else, and they're kissing as though there's nobody around them. That weird feeling Niall felt before is back in a flash, but this time it hits him right in the chest and it _hurts_.

He turns back to Liam and tries to laugh, but it comes out uneasy and forced. He clears his throat as he puts his drink on the bar and does his best to casually shrug at Liam.

"Good for him," he says, but deep down he absolutely doesn't mean it.

"You okay?" Liam asks, that sad sort of look returning to his face.

"Yeah," Niall says, brushing it off, "why wouldn't I be?"

Liam nods, though out of the corner of his eye Niall can tell there's something Liam isn't saying. He supposes it's fair that Liam's keeping something from him, since he's doing the same. Together they leave the club and share a cab back to their neighborhood, and halfway through the trip Niall's phone buzzes with a text from Louis.

_don't wait up! ;)_

Niall swallows hard and shoves his phone back into his pocket, pretending he doesn't see the look Liam sends him from the other side of the backseat. Niall stares out the window and concentrates on his breathing, trying to remember why he thought hooking up with his best friend was a good idea in the first place.

*

Niall wakes up on the wrong side of the bed the next morning. Well, actually, he's still on Louis' couch so he wakes up on the same side he always does, but the metaphor doesn't exactly track otherwise. He'd heard Louis come home the night before somewhere around three in the morning, but he'd pretended to be asleep. He can't be sure if Louis actually checked to see if he was awake or not, but it probably wouldn't have mattered.

The point is, Niall's upset. The problem is, Niall doesn't know _why_ he's upset and he hates that. Or really, he doesn't want to admit the reason behind his bad mood and it's just making everything worse.

He knows as soon as Louis wakes up and leaves his bedroom, he'll inevitably tell Niall about the person he met at the club the night before. Niall can't remember if he'd seen Louis with a man or a woman but it doesn't even _matter_. Just seeing Louis with someone else set off some sort of chain reaction in Niall's mind that's now spread to his whole body and made him feel absolutely terrible.

Niall groans to himself and tries to cover his head with the blanket without pulling it up so far that it no longer covers his feet, but it doesn't work very well. He groans again, this time out of frustration, and kicks the blanket off completely and turns to face the back of the couch, smushing his face against one of the cushions.

Now he can't stop thinking about Louis and whoever he was kissing, and it's making everything worse. It's like his brain is actively working against him or something, and it's not stopping any time soon.

He rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling for a moment before he covers his face with his hands. Maybe this is what Liam was trying to warn him against the night before. Maybe he was trying to tell Niall that living with Louis was just a means to an end, and the end has come. Niall tries very hard to not think that Liam is perceptive enough to pick up on the fact that he's been hooking up with Louis in secret and _that's_ why he was acting all weird last night. 

He suddenly hears shuffling coming from Louis' bedroom. In a bit of a panic, Niall scrambles off of the couch and sprints to the bathroom. The door sort of slams behind him and he curses under his breath, hoping maybe Louis hadn't heard. He immediately switches on the shower and lets the water run, drowning out any other sounds from the rest of the flat.

Niall takes a much longer than necessary shower, staying in the bathroom for as long as he possibly can. Avoiding Louis may be dumb and cowardly, but seeing him face-to-face is another thing entirely.

When Niall finally emerges from the bathroom, Louis is standing on the other side with a pinched sort of look on his face. Niall freezes in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist, staring at Louis with a wide-eyed look as though he's been caught doing something extremely naughty. Then he realizes that Louis is sort of dancing from one foot to another, and Niall tries to move out of the doorway.

"You were in there for ages," Louis offers as explanation before he pushes past Niall and the door quickly shuts behind him.

Niall nods to himself, thinking _that could've gone worse_ as he heads into the living room to gather some fresh clothes for the day. He's dressed by the time Louis comes out of the bathroom, but his head's still not quite right.

He avoids looking Louis in the eye as he goes about the kitchen making breakfast for himself, staying aware of where Louis is through his periphery so he doesn't run the risk of actually walking into him. It's a weird sort of dance that they've never done before, and Niall knows that Louis can tell something's up.

But neither of them say anything. They sit on the couch together and eat their breakfast, watching some random program that came on when Niall turned on the TV. It appears to be some sort of documentary that doesn't interest Niall in the slightest, but rather than checking with Louis to see if it's alright to change the channel, he leaves it on.

They've apparently caught it right at the beginning because the program lasts for almost two hours, and even though they finish their breakfasts within the first twenty minutes, neither of them get up from the couch. Niall hardly pays any attention to the program, he's too busy getting caught up by a thousand different thoughts roaming around inside his head.

He doesn't even realize when the program finishes; he only notices when Louis suddenly reaches across the couch and shuts off the TV. Niall glances his way, but just one look at Louis' face is enough to send him reeling all over again.

Without saying a word, Niall stands up from the couch and goes into the kitchen to clean up his breakfast dishes. Louis is right behind him, but this time he's not going to stay out of Niall's way or go on with the mutual silent treatment.

"Are you okay?" he asks, trying to get Niall to look at him.

"Yeah," Niall replies, "why wouldn't I be?"

"You're acting weird," Louis goes on, still trying to catch Niall's eye. At this rate he'll stick his head in the fucking sink just to get Niall's full attention.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are." Louis scoffs a little as Niall turns away from him. "Did I do something?"

"No."

"Then why are you being weird?"

"I'm not being weird."

"You are!" Louis huffs and crosses his arms. "Just tell me what's going on, and--"

"I'm moving out," Niall blurts suddenly. It surprises both himself and Louis, but there's a look on Louis' face that clearly shows how much of a shock Niall's outburst really was.

"What?"

"I just…" Niall clears his throat. Now that he's said it, he has to stick to the lie. He just has to make it more believable. "It's time, innit? Liam offered me his spare room, so…" Niall shrugs. "It'll get me off your couch."

"Niall, you…" Louis scoffs in disbelief. "You don't have to leave."

"You don't want me on your couch forever," he says, turning his back to Louis as he leaves the kitchen and goes back to the living room. He's already started to gather up his things when Louis joins him, still looking absolutely bewildered.

"You don't have to be on the couch, Niall. We could--"

"It's alright, Lou." Niall shakes his head. "I'll just crash at Liam's for a bit, and then I'll find my own place." He shoulders his bag and forces himself to look Louis in the eye. "I've probably overstayed my welcome here, anyway."

"You haven't," Louis insists. "Niall, of course you haven't."

"You don't have to…" Niall shakes his head again and starts heading for the front door. "It's okay, really. We'll hang out soon, alright?"

"Niall--"

"See you," he calls over his shoulder as he pulls the door open, not even giving Louis a chance to say goodbye in return before he closes it behind him.

Niall takes the stairs slowly on the way down, not because he's waiting for Louis to come after him but rather because his eyes have welled up with so many tears that it's a bit hard for him to see where he's going. He never should've stayed at Louis' for so long, and he certainly shouldn't have started hooking up with him. It was never going to be a forever thing and he knew that.

Now he's probably gone and screwed up one of the best friendships he's ever had, and it's all his own stupid fault.

*

"Who is it?" Liam's voice crackles over the intercom and Niall sighs heavily as he presses the button to talk.

"It's Niall."

The door buzzes a few seconds later and Niall heads inside, trudging up the stairs to Liam's door. He doesn't even have to knock before it swings backwards on its hinges to reveal Liam behind it, and the look on his face turns from curiosity to sympathetic in nothing flat.

"Oh, no," Liam says as he steps aside and ushers Niall inside. "What happened?"

"It's kind of a long story," Niall answers with a humorless laugh, "but the gist of it is I need somewhere to stay, if you don't mind."

Liam sighs heavily and pats Niall's shoulder. "I'll put on the kettle, go make yourself comfortable."

Half an hour later, Niall's got a half-full mug of tea in his hands and he's just finished telling Liam the whole story. Every embarrassing detail of what's been going on between him and Louis over the last few weeks laid bare, even though judging by the look on Liam's face he probably could've left a few things out.

"So, let me get this straight." Liam puts his tea down and scratches his forehead before speaking again. "You and Louis were just… casually blowing each other?"

Niall winces. "Yeah."

"But you weren't together."

Niall shakes his head.

"And you weren't talking about it?"

"Well…" Niall grunts. "It was just… y'know. Friend… stuff."

Liam snorts. "Niall, _we're_ friends. You know I love you but I don't want to suck your dick, sorry."

Niall groans and hides his face in his mug. Liam pats his shoulder in a consoling sort of way but just the sound of his sigh makes Niall feel even more stupid about the whole thing.

"We never even _kissed_ ," Niall says, as if that somehow makes it less stupid. "We weren't together, it was just…"

"Hooking up?" Niall nods. "With your best friend." Niall nods again, slower this time. "Who you were living with."

"Okay, when you put it like that, _yes_ it's bad and stupid but--"

They're both startled by a loud buzzer going off, and Liam glances at the door with a puzzled look.

"Who could that be?" he wonders aloud as he gets up off the couch and heads for the intercom, pressing the button and asking, "who's there?"

"It's Louis, can I come up?"

Liam looks back at Niall, who's suddenly gone very pale.

"Uhh… yeah?" Liam replies, pressing the button for the door while Niall loses his mind.

"What'd you do that for?!"

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Tell him no!" Niall scrambles to get off the couch, looking around for somewhere to hide. "I told him I was coming here but I didn't think he'd fucking follow!"

"Well, that was your second mistake," Liam mumbles.

"Not helping!" Niall hisses.

"Well--" Liam's interrupted by a frantic knock at the door and both Niall and Liam freeze.

"I'm not here!" Niall whispers harshly as he snatches his bag up from the floor and rushes out of the living room, opting to hide behind the first door he sees.

"Niall!" Liam whisper yells, but it's too late. He's already locked himself in the bathroom and he is absolutely not coming out.

Niall slides down to the floor of Liam's bathroom and sits with his back against the wall next to the door. But as it turns out, with the door closed he can't hear what's going on outside of the bathroom very well, all he can hear is muffled voices. Niall carefully reaches up and turns the doorknob, making sure to switch off the light before opening the door just a crack so he can hear better.

"Louis, calm down, you've--"

"No, I can't _calm down_ , Liam! You don't understand!"

"Okay, okay!"

"You're not listening to me!"

"I'm trying! All you're doing is shouting nonsense!"

Louis groans angrily and a loud thump follows.

"Oi, don't take this out on my couch," Liam chastises.

"Your couch is stupid," Louis grumbles.

"Why are you here, Louis?" Liam asks with a heavy sigh.

There's a long pause and Niall holds his breath. He has no idea what Louis is about to say, but he can't imagine that it's anything worse than what he's already told Liam.

"I thought Niall would be here," Louis admits finally. "He… he said he was coming here."

If he could see Liam, Niall imagines he'd be glaring daggers in his direction.

"Why didn't you just call him?" Liam asks.

"I can't _call_ him, I--" Louis groans again, "I have to talk to him in person. I need to--"

"Louis," Liam says sadly. "Louis, you don't--"

"I fucked up," Louis says through a sniffle. The sound hits Niall square in his chest, practically paralyzing him. Why was Louis so upset over Niall leaving?

"No, you didn't."

"How would you know, Liam?" Louis snaps. Then, softer, he says, "you weren't there."

"I…" Liam clears his throat. "Okay, maybe I don't know. But whatever you think you did, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think it was."

"He _left_ , Liam." Louis sniffles again. "I'm pretty sure that's as bad as it gets."

"Yeah, but--"

"If I'd just done what you said months ago, if I'd just _told_ him, then maybe--"

There's another shuffling sound followed by Louis protesting against being dragged about and then a door opening and shutting again. Niall presses himself against the wall next to the bathroom door as best he can to try and see what's going on, but it's no use. He can't see anything and now he can't hear anything either.

What was Louis talking about? What had Liam told him to do months ago? Niall puts his head in his hands and sighs heavily. He'd come to Liam's to get some perspective on the situation at large, not to get even more confused about everything.

The front door doesn't open again for nearly ten minutes. Niall watches the time tick by on his phone from his hiding spot in the bathroom, feeling his shame grow by the minute. He shouldn't have hidden from Louis, but now that he's done it he can't make himself get up. He might as well spend the rest of his life sitting right here on the floor of Liam's bathroom.

But the sound of the door opening startles him, especially given that he hears footsteps entering the apartment followed by two voices - one of which he doesn't recognize.

"Just hang on a minute," Liam says to whoever he's with, and then suddenly he's at the bathroom door looming over Niall. "Alright, you. Get up."

Niall reluctantly gets to his feet, once again shouldering his bag and picking up his now empty mug. He follows Liam back out into the living room and comes face-to-face with the person belonging to the voice he didn't recognize.

"Liam, why were you hiding someone in the bathroom?" he asks, giving Niall a wary look.

"He wasn't-- Who are you?" Niall counters as he sets his bag down on the floor by the couch.

"This is Harry," Liam explains. "Harry, this is Niall."

"Oh, _you're_ Niall!" Harry says, his expression brightening at once. "I've heard so much about you!"

"I… okay?" Niall turns to Liam. "Who's Harry?"

"Harry's my… boyfriend." Liam clears his throat. Niall glances back at Harry, who's beaming.

"You have a boyfriend? Since when?"

"I--"

"A few months, now. Officially speaking," Harry answers, still smiling widely.

"I was going to tell you," Liam says, giving Niall an apologetic look. "But I wasn't sure how you'd take it, y'know, with you and Max."

"I was dumped, Li. You could've told me. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Liam replies, smiling a bit. It fades quickly, and Liam's back to a look of disapproval. "My relationship isn't the issue here, you've got to go and fix things with Louis."

"Ohh, that was Louis?" Harry interjects, but neither Liam nor Niall answer him.

"What's there to fix?" Niall says. "I go back to sleeping on his couch and hooking up on nights he can't pull anyone else? No thank you."

"No! You--" Liam groans angrily. "You two are so thick, I can't even _believe_ it."

"Liam, what are you--" Niall starts to ask as Liam grabs him by the shoulder and starts leading him towards the door forcefully.

"You're going back to Louis' and you're going to fucking _talk_ about your feelings," Liam says as he opens the door and shoves Niall out into the hallway.

"But, Liam--"

"Go!" Liam shouts, slamming the door behind him.

"Can I have my bag, at least?!" Niall shouts as he bangs on the door. The door opens just long enough that Liam pitches Niall's bag through it and into Niall's stomach, knocking the wind out of him and he stumbles back a few feet.

"It was nice to meet you!" Harry shouts through the door.

Niall stares at the door for a few seconds as he catches his breath, utterly bewildered by all that's just happened. For a moment he thinks about banging on the door again until Liam lets him back in, but he'd probably end up hurting his hand before Liam would give in. He needs to make friends with people who aren't so stubborn.

Eventually he resides himself to the fact that unless he's going to put himself up in a hotel for the night, he's only got one place to go. With his bag over one shoulder yet again, Niall takes his time leaving Liam's building, and walks far slower than his normal pace to the nearest tube station. But as he gets to the entrance, he decides he'd rather walk to Louis' instead.

It'll take far longer than it would if he just hopped on the tube, but deep down he knows he needs this extra time to himself. He doesn't know what he's going to say when he sees Louis again, but maybe he'll figure it out by the time he gets there.

He hadn't said it out loud at Liam's, but the more he thinks about Louis and seeing him with someone else at the club the night before, and the hooking up… it becomes clearer in his mind. He's got it bad for Louis. He hadn't meant for things to go this far, he'd never even thought of Louis in that way before. He doesn't know when it happened, all he knows is that it did happen and it happened _fast_.

Liam was right, this was a stupid idea. Hooking up with your best mate while you're crashing on their couch could never end well. Niall should've listened to his gut from the start and put a stop to it when he had the chance. Now he's probably going to lose Louis as a friend and maybe even Liam as well, if things go as well as Niall's expecting them to.

Niall finally makes it to Louis' building, but it's only then that he remembers he no longer has a key. He hadn't grabbed it earlier when he left because he hadn't planned on coming back. He goes up to the intercom and presses the button for Louis' flat and waits, but there's no answer. He tries again and again, but after the fourth time of no answer, he stops.

He pulls his phone from his pocket and calls Louis, even though his heart is beating so fast he's fairly certain he won't be able to say a word if Louis answers. He doesn't get to find out, though, because Louis' phone goes straight to voicemail. Niall doesn't bother leaving a message.

There's nothing more he can do. Niall takes his bag off his shoulders and sits down on the steps outside Louis' flat, trying to make himself as comfortable as possible. Liam probably wouldn't believe him if he went back and said he'd tried to talk to Louis with no luck. His only option is to stay right where he is and hope Louis comes home soon.

*

Niall's being shaken awake, and for a moment he doesn't remember where he is. He glances around with bleary eyes and realizes he's still on the steps outside Louis' flat and he must've fallen asleep somehow. Then he looks up and realizes Louis must be the one who woke him up, because he's standing over him with a slightly worried expression.

"What're you doing here?" he asks, like he can't believe Niall's here at all.

"Waiting for you," Niall replies in a croaky sort of voice. He's stiff from having fallen asleep in such an uncomfortable place, but with Louis' help he's able to get up to his feet. "I tried calling."

"My phone died," Louis says, taking it out of his pocket and showing the dark screen to him. "I was… out looking for you."

"You were?"

Louis nods. "Started at Liam's, and then your office, then the pub, and then…" Louis shrugs a little, "I reckon I just wandered around until I ended up back here."

"And here I am," Niall says quietly.

"Let's, uhh, let's go inside," Louis says, taking a step backwards from Niall so he can unlock the door behind them. Niall doesn't say anything as he follows Louis inside and up the stairs. They both remain silent until they're back inside Louis' flat, and then they immediately both start talking over each other.

"Louis, I'm sorry--"

"I never should've--"

They both pause and chuckle awkwardly, staring at each other with the same nervous look. Niall wants to hear what Louis has to say, but he's desperate to say his own piece first.

"I shouldn't have left this morning," Niall says before Louis can gather his thoughts enough to speak again. "I shouldn't have said I was okay because I wasn't, and it wasn't fair to you for me to lie like that."

"Okay," Louis says carefully.

"I just…" Niall sighs heavily. "I had a lot going on inside my head and I didn't know what to say. I still don't, if I'm being honest, this is all mad to me."

"What is?"

"This!" Niall gestures between them. "Us! You and me! What we've been doing for the past couple of weeks!"

"You mean the…"

"Yeah, the…" Niall sighs again. "We shouldn't have just kept on doing that. We should've talked about it, or something."

"Is that what this is about?" Louis asks, his voice laced with hurt. "Did you leave because you didn't want to do that anymore with me and you didn't know how to say it?"

"No, that's not--"

"Because if I'd known you didn't want it, I wouldn't have--"

"Louis, that's not what--"

"I wasn't trying to take advantage of you or anything, I just--"

"Louis, listen to me!" Niall shouts. "That's not what I'm saying!"

"What are you saying?!" Louis shouts back.

"I'm saying it was a stupid thing to do!"

"So I'm an idiot, is that what you're saying?" Louis asks angrily. Niall's head feels like it's spinning from how fast Louis is going through the range of emotions, and he's not sure he can keep up much longer.

"No, that's not it. What I meant was--"

"I was just trying to help out a friend, y'know," Louis continues. "I thought it would make you feel better after what happened with Max."

"I don't care about Max! I wasn't looking for a rebound, Louis!"

"Well, you got one! And it worked!"

"That's not fair!"

"What isn't fair? God, you're not making any fucking sense, Niall, d'you know that?"

"You're not a rebound, Louis!" Niall yells. "You're more than that! God, can't you see? I left this morning because I was so fucking jealous about you going home with someone else last night instead of coming back here with me! And it's all because of this stupid thing we started doing and never actually talked about what it meant!"

Niall's breathing hard by the time he's done ranting. He stares at Louis who looks back at him with wide eyes and a surprised look on his face. Niall hadn't been planning on going off on him like that, but in the moment he couldn't really stop himself.

"You… were jealous?" Louis asks.

"Yeah," Niall answers with a sigh. "Don't think I really realized it til right now, but… yeah."

"You were jealous," Louis repeats. "Of me and that other bloke."

"Yeah, alright, you don't have to take the piss," Niall grumbles.

"No, I'm not, I…" Louis chuckles a little as he steps closer to Niall. "I'm really not."

"Then what are you--"

Louis takes Niall's face in his hands and gently presses their mouths together, effectively shutting Niall up. He's taken aback by the sudden kiss, and Louis pulls back before he can get a hold of his thoughts again.

"Should I not have…?"

Niall blinks and then leans in and kisses Louis this time, pulling him in by the waist so they're pressed flush against each other. Louis laughs into Niall's mouth as he kisses him back, breathing a sigh of relief when they both pull away from each other.

"Okay," Niall says, laughing breathlessly. "I think we're on the same page."

"Think so," Louis replies. "But just to be safe…" He tucks his hand under Niall's chin and lifts it a little so they're both looking into each other's eyes. "You and me… we're gonna do this for real, right?"

"Meaning, like, boyfriends?" Niall asks.

"Reckon I like that better than _mates_ ," Louis replies, snickering lightly.

"As long as it gets me off your stupid couch, I don't care what label we put on it."

"Deal," Louis says as he leans in and kisses Niall again. After a few seconds, Niall grunts softly and pulls away.

"We should probably text Liam. Let him know we fixed things."

"Yeah, we--" Louis narrows his eyes. "Wait. Did you see Liam today?"

Niall avoids looking at Louis and laughs awkwardly. "I might've done."

"You little--"

"Would you forgive me a bit faster if I told you I know why Liam's been acting weird lately?"

"Maybe," Louis says, his eyes still narrowed and suspicious.

"Liam's got a boyfriend." Louis' eyes go wide, but before he can say another word Niall kisses him. "His name is Harry," he says between kisses. "And he seems very nice."

"But--"

"We can set up a double date--" Niall continues, still interrupting Louis with kisses, "--later this week."

"Alright," Louis relents, letting himself be kissed thoroughly. "But we do need to talk about that, y'know."

"How about you show me where I'll be sleeping from now on," Niall says as he takes Louis' hand in his own and gently tugs him towards the bedroom, "and we can talk _or not talk_ all you like?"

Louis' mouth quirks with a smile. "You drive a hard bargain."

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://astorytotellyourfriends.tumblr.com)


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